"A Memo for Christian Parents who have Suicidal Children" by Alden Nagel
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Alden Nagel is the founder and editor of Nut Hole Publishing, and also a writer. You can find him on Instagram @aldennagelward
Dear Christian Parents,
It may not surprise you to learn that, nation-wide, suicide attempts rates for young children, as well as suicide deaths for young children, have steadily risen in recent years. There are many reasons for this; isolation due to the Covid-19 Pandemic, online harassment, and the unfortunate state of the world being some, but not all, of these reasons that contribute to their worsening mental and emotional health. Similarly, child poverty rates have risen steadily over the past ten years all across the United States, which can worsen all factors that may corrode a young child’s emotional, mental, physical and spiritual wellbeing.
Outlined below, are two different yet complementary forms of ways to frame and manifest those ways in which we can help our children during their worst times. There are ways you can utilize to further better your young child’s wellbeing. As adults, we want nothing but the best for the children in our lives. We seek to love them, hold them close, and protect them from everything that may harm them: factors both outside and inside the home, as well as those which must be dealt with therapeutically, with expert care, as relates to your child’s wellbeing.
In outlining these two sets of help, I offer nothing but my best, heartfelt true wishes for the betterment of your children, and for that of your family, as well for those in your communities. I wish you more than luck in handling such : I wish you health, safety, perseverance. I wish them the longest, most personally fulfilling, and the most truly everlasting life that a child of God can possibly have on this Earth.
I am obliged to say that I am not an expert on the matter of child development, or of child psychology. Similarly, I am not a parent at the time of publishing: I am a twenty five year old writer and editor. My purpose in writing this Memo is to address your concerns, from my perspective as a baptized and confirmed Catholic. With this writing, I seek to lobby you to do all you can not to ignore any potential causes for concern, and to help you better understand what is best to do for your children. If I can implore you to leave reading this today with a single idea, it is this: all we do as children of Christ is to struggle to endure, to hope for tomorrow, and to praise today. By working today, and staying steadfast in our actions, we can ensure all that is good and true with the world may stay good and true, for as long as we may try. We try, for the sanctity of the children in our lives, and of course, for the universal betterment of the entire world. It is imperative that no harm ever come to children: this is the cornerstone of what we say when we say we unconditionally love the children we call our own.
For your children, I wish for them the keystones of becoming any strong individual: that one survives, endures, and that they are ensured to live life to its fullest capacity. Through this, they follow their own true path to health, stability, personal realization, and the true contentment of the soul.
This first section, below, is a selection of prayers, as they relate to the topics and meanings we encounter as Christians with children under our care. We pray for our children so as to find solace, guidance, and truth during these unimaginably hard times within our family. Entitled “8 Best Prayers for Breaking Generational Curses”, they are copied directly from connectusfund.org, as they were written by Natalie Regoli, LL.M. You can read them on their original website here.
The second section of this writing, is a fully-quoted article entitled “Suicide Prevention: 12 Things Parents can Do”, written by Eric J. Sigel, MD, FAAP & Maria H. Rahmandar, MD, FAAP. They are both practicing, experienced pediatricians who want nothing less than the global wellbeing of your children, and for all children everywhere You can read the original article here, on the website healthychildren.org.
May God be with you, your family, your community and your children. I believe you already have the strength to ensure their health and stability of your children—you have it within you the moment you became a parent of one of God’s children. This feeling will never go away.
“8 Best Prayers for Breaking Generational Curses”
by Natalie Regoli, LL.M.
Many people are exposed to living with the bondage of sins given to them by their forefathers. This can continue on for generations until repentance is sought. Here is a look at some great prayers for breaking generational curses that will help to put you on a path to heal any generational transgressions.
Redeemed from the Curse Prayer
O Mighty God, it is for freedom that Christ came. I am redeemed from the curse of the law. I stand firm in this verse, and I pray that every generational curse in my lineage has no power over me. I pray that every curse spoken, written, or transferred to me is broken by the blood of Jesus. Poverty, sickness, and family idols are not my portion. I choose to walk in the freedom that Christ bought for me. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Confession Prayer
Righteous Savior, I come humbly before you today to confess the sins that my forefathers and I have committed against you. We have not obeyed your word, and as a result, we have opened up doors for the devil to reinforce generational curses into our family. Lord, forgive us of all of these sins. Let the blood of your Son, Jesus, purify us from every sin that we have committed against you. Holy Spirit, purge every curse that has passed on in our family from generation to generation. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
Agreements and Vows Prayer
Lord, Creator of Heaven and Earth, I thank you for sending your only Son to die on the cross for us. Through his sacrifice, we have been set free from any manner of captivity. I pray to you that you break me and my future generations from any agreements, vows, commitments, and contracts that my family and I made knowingly or unknowingly with the forces of darkness. Today, I renounce these agreements, in the name of Jesus. I pray that you set my family free. In Jesus’ name, I pray, Amen.
Purification Prayer
Jehovah Rapha, my Healer, I want to thank you for dying on the cross for me. It is because of your great sacrifice that my family and I have been set free from generational curses. I break the power of the enemy over my life. I declare and decree that every curse that the enemy and his agents are trying to reinforce in my life is null and void. I paralyze all the works of the enemy over my life. I reject every curse in my family line and choose to walk in the blessings of Abraham. In the name of Jesus, I believe and pray, Amen.
Authority Prayer
Lord of Heaven’s Armies, the Bible says that I will decree a thing and it shall be established. I cancel and nullify any curses that were spoken over us intentionally or unintentionally, in the name of Jesus. I cancel the effects of those negative words over my family and future generations, in the name of Jesus. I declare and decree that generational curses of sickness, poverty, marital failure, bareness, rage, alcoholism, and lying are null and void. They will never manifest because we are free from them. I command the devil and his demons to leave my family alone. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
New Creation Prayer
Oh God of my Salvation, I thank you for making me a new creation in Christ. I choose to walk in my new found freedom in Christ. I refuse to be chained to generation curses from my parents’ house. I stand firm in my new identity and declare that I am of a different bloodline line, and that is the bloodline of Jesus Christ, my Lord and Savior. Devil and your cohorts of demons, you have no power over my mental health, finances, family, and marriage because who the Son has set free is free indeed. I am free. In the name of Jesus, Amen.
Breaking the Curse of Sinful Patterns Prayer
Almighty and Everlasting God, I renounce sinful patterns that have been going on in my family from generation to generation. I renounce sexual immorality, alcoholism, bitterness, gossip, and rage in my lineage. I cut myself off and break free from those sinful patterns, in the name of Jesus. I plead the blood of Jesus Christ over myself, and I declare that those sinful patterns will not have any hold over me or any of my children or any of our future generations. We belong to Christ, and therefore, generational sins have no power over us. In the mighty name of Jesus, I pray, Amen.
Breaking the Curse of Premature Death Prayer
Father, Chain-Breaker, I want to thank you for removing me from the kingdom of darkness and transferring me into the kingdom of your Son, Jesus. I belong to a new family now. Break the foul spirit of premature death that has been haunting my family for generations. Break the devil’s power over my life, in the mighty name of Jesus. Devil, I remind you that I belong to a new family now. You have no control over my life. My family and I will live to praise the glorious works of the Lord God Almighty, the Maker of Heaven and Earth, the Maker of all that is seen and unseen. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Breaking the Curse of Rejection Prayer
Father, my Miracle-Worker, I come to your throne today to confess all my sins and the sins of my forefathers. Thank you for forgiving us of our past, present and future sins, and accepting us into your family. We have sinned against you, and as a result, our family has been under the curse of rejection. I break loose from these curses of rejection from my earthly father’s house, in the name of Jesus. I declare that none of my children and grandchildren will be rejected because we now belong to God’s holy family and we are children of the one, true God. We will always find favor with you, dear Father. In Jesus’ name, I believe, and pray, Amen.
Blessing Prayer
Father God of Infinite Blessings, your word says that you have adopted me into your family. Therefore, I am Abraham’s descendant and an heir, together with Jesus Christ. From today onwards, I refuse to walk in the curses of my family and choose to walk in the blessings of Abraham. I break free from every curse that has been spoken over me by my family, friends, and even strangers. I cancel the power of predictions made over my life. I declare that I am a blessing to my loved ones and not a curse. The work of the hand of God is blessed and is upon me. God blesses me when I come and he blesses me when I go. In Jesus’ name, I believe and pray, Amen.
“Suicide Prevention: 12 Things Parents Can Do”
By Eric J. Sigel, MD, FAAP & Maria H. Rahmandar, MD, FAAP
As children grow and become more independent, it can be more challenging for parents to know what they are thinking and feeling. When do the normal ups and downs of adolescence become something to worry about?
Parents and family members can help teens cope when life feels too difficult to bear. Learn about factors that can increase your child's risk for suicide and explore these 12 suggestions below. These steps can help you feel better prepared to offer the caring, non-judgmental support your child needs.
1. If you see signs that your child's mental health is under threat, tune in.
Maybe your child is just having a bad day. When signs of mental health troubles last for weeks, though, don't assume it's just a passing mood.
Studies show that 9 of 10 teens who died by suicide were struggling with mental health conditions such as depression. But keep in mind:
Teens who haven't been diagnosed with any mental health condition may still be at risk. In part, this is because it can be hard to pinpoint mental health issues at early ages.
Occasionally teens who attempt suicide do not have underlying mental health issues. But they may give signs that they're considering ending their own lives.
Your goal should be to remain calm, alert and ready to speak with your teen. Don't wait for them to come to you. You might start by saying, "You seem sad. I'm open to talking about this, because I love you and I care what happens to you."
Here are more tips for opening mental health conversations with your child.
2. Listen—even when your child is not talking.
Don't be surprised if your teen turns away when you first raise the subject of mental health or suicide. Keep in mind that, even if your child is silent at first, actions may speak even more loudly than words.
Watch for major changes in your child's sleep patterns, appetite and social activities. Self-isolation, especially for kids who usually enjoy hanging out with friends or participating in activities, can signal serious difficulties.
If your child is struggling more than usual with schoolwork, chores and other responsibilities, these are additional signs you shouldn't ignore.
3. Realize that your child might be facing suicide risks you haven't considered yet.
Many parents wonder: Could my child really be at risk for suicide? Unfortunately, the answer is yes. Young people of all races, ethnicities, gender identities, sexual orientations, income levels and community backgrounds die by suicide every year.
In fact, suicide is the second leading cause of death among young people 10 to 24 years old.
Here are some suicide risk factors to be aware of:
Loss of a loved one to death, divorce, deployment, deportation or incarceration
Bullying (in person or online)
Discrimination, rejection or hostility due to gender identity or sexual orientation
Racism, discrimination and related inequities and stressors
Stigma (the belief that it's wrong or shameful to talk about mental health or suicide)
Witnessing or suffering violence or domestic abuse
Financial instability that causes worry and insecurity
Suicide in their school or friend group
Major life-changing events, such as a breakup with a dating partner, a change in social connections, academic disappointment or a major health issue
Self-harming behavior
Get more perspective on your child's specific risks here.
4. Do not dismiss what you're seeing as "teenage drama."
Never assume your child is exaggerating or playing games if they say or write:
"I want to die."
"I don't care anymore."
"Nothing matters."
"I wonder how many people would come to my funeral?"
"Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up."
"Everyone would be better off without me."
"You won't have to worry about me much longer."
Many adolescents who attempt suicide will tell their parents ahead of time (though others do not). These words indicate an urgent need for help.
Don't risk being wrong about this. Take every statement about suicide seriously.
5. Respond with empathy and understanding.
When your child talks or writes about suicide, you may feel shocked, hurt or angry. You may even want to deny what you're seeing or argue with your child. These feelings are natural and valid. But it's essential to focus on your child's needs first and foremost.
Your goal is to create a safe space where your teen can trust you to listen and express concern, but without judgment or blame.
Instead of reacting this way:
"That's a ridiculous thing to say."
"You have a great life – why would you end it?"
"You don't mean that."
"I can't believe what I'm hearing!"
Manage your own feelings so you can respond with empathy:
"I'm sorry you are feeling this way—can you share a bit more?"
"It sounds like you're in tremendous pain and you can't see a way out."
"Maybe you're wondering how life got this complicated and difficult."
"Right now, you're not sure of the answers to the problems you're facing."
"You must really, really be hurting inside to consider ending your life."
6. Get help right away.
Risk for suicidal behavior is complex and not straightforward. Certainly, if you are concerned about depression, self-harm or vague references to suicide thoughts, seek care from your primary care provider as soon as possible. You can consider reaching out to a school therapist, local mental health provider or even a national suicide hotline for guidance.
If you have any concern that your teen is at more immediate risk for attempting suicide, take them to the emergency department of your local hospital or call 911. Fast action is crucial when things have reached a crisis point.
Health care providers can help you and your teen create a safety plan that covers:
Warning signs or triggers your teen feels will lead to suicidal thoughts
Possible steps to help them cope when they feel triggered
Sources of support: family, friends, teachers, mentors and others
Emergency contacts and steps to take if things get worse
7. Remove or secure guns you have at home. Do the same with other lethal means.
Firearms
Half of youth suicides occur with firearms—and suicide attempts with firearms are almost always fatal. Teens and adolescents almost always use a gun found in their house.
By far, the safest option is to remove all guns and ammunition from your home while your teen is struggling with thoughts of suicide. Many families turn guns over to relatives (as long as your child does not go to that relative's house), other trusted individuals, law enforcement or gun shops to help safeguard their teen during a vulnerable time.
Safe home storage is the second-best option. Locking and unloading all guns, with ammunition stored and locked in a separate space, does reduce the risk of tragedy. But it only helps if your teen doesn't know the combination to the lock or where the key is hidden. Disassembling guns and storing the components separately and locked is another option.
Medications & other risks
Of course, guns are not the only means of suicide your child might seek out. Prescription medications and over-the-counter drugs can pose hazards during a suicidal crisis.
Keep medications locked away and, whenever possible, reduce the volume of medications on hand. Also consider buying over-the-counter medications in blister packs instead of bottles. This can help slow down access to pills.
Hanging/suffocation is another leading way adolescents die by suicide. Though it is challenging to completely eliminate this possibility, secure any ropes, belts, cords or plastic bags so teens do not have access.
Other potentially lethal tools and substances you should consider locking away include:
Alcohol
Illicit drugs
Household cleaners and other poisonous products
Canned dusting products
Inhalants
Antifreeze
Knives, razors, or other weapons
The work of removing or locking up these objects and substances may seem daunting. But remember that your child's safety is at stake.
Suicide attempts are often impulsive, and a moment of crisis can escalate very quickly. Making sure your teen cannot lay hands on lethal means at the wrong time is critical.
8. As your child enters treatment, focus on creating hope.
Your child's care team will likely recommend a combination of steps to reduce mental health symptoms and thoughts of suicide. Medications, talk therapy and stress-reducing techniques such as yoga, meditation or journaling may be part of the plan.
Provide realistic reassurance for your child along the way. Remind them (and yourself) that difficult times don't last forever. People do feel better when they receive effective treatment and support.
If your child expresses feelings of stigma or shame, you can remind them that 1 in 5 people have mental health symptoms at some point in their lives. Mental health is part of total health—and seeking help is a sign of self-respect and maturity.
9. Encourage them to see family and friends, and keep an eye on social media.
Your child may feel reluctant to spend time with other people. However, you can explain that social support, when they are ready, may help them feel better.
Although more quiet time might be needed at first, gentle encouragement to hang out with family, friends and neighbors will be helpful. Avoid power struggles around specific events or invitations, since your goal is to respect your child's needs and minimize stress.
Social media may be the primary way some adolescents engage with their friends. It can be a point of connection and support, but at the same time, social media can be a source of bullying and triggers. Encourage an open dialogue around social media use and ask how your adolescent feels after using social media. Consider making a Family Media Plan.
10. Encourage sleep and exercise.
Sleep changes can be warning signs before suicidal thoughts. In addition, sleep is important for baseline mental health. Encourage healthy sleep habits.
Physical activity eases mental health symptoms and supports your child's wellness plan. Whether it's getting outside to take a daily walk, a gym workout, an online exercise class or something else, exercise will:
Elevate your teen's mood by stimulating the production of endorphins (natural substances in the brain and body that help balance out stress and manage pain).
Support higher levels of serotonin, another brain-body substance that leads to positive moods and restful sleep.
Offer to go with them on a walk, a bike ride, or to the gym. Experts recommend 60 minutes of physical activity per day for adolescents. Easing back into any form of exercise is fine. What matters most is that your teen enjoys this activity and feels motivated to do it regularly.
11. Encourage balance, moderation and self-care.
Teens in crisis need to go easy on themselves. This means adopting a realistic pace and avoiding experiences that could prove overwhelming.
Reassure your teen that self-care is never a sign of weakness. Everything we do in life is affected by our health. So, giving ourselves time to heal is essential. Big tasks can be divided into smaller, more manageable ones, and gradually, as your child's confidence and strength grows, they'll feel ready to take on more.
12. Remind each other that this will take time.
You and your child will benefit from knowing that progress will come at its own pace. Setbacks may happen—they're part of the healing process, too.
Encourage your child to be patient and self-forgiving. They've been through a lot, but with the right care and support, you will both see improvement.
Remember
If your child is considering suicide, call or text 988 or chat on 988lifeline.org right away. The Lifeline provides 24/7, free and confidential support for people in distress, prevention and crisis resources for you or your loved ones.
Ask your teen's care team for other resources you should know about. The National Alliance on Mental Illness and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention have great information.
Parents of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans and Queer children can visit the Trevor Project website for focused resources. Parents and teens facing racial stress can benefit from these strategies and tools offered by the American Psychological Association.
You can also visit the American Academy of Pediatrics Blueprint for Youth Suicide Prevention for information about ways to prevent suicide in your community or school.